Or I really should call this Great Expectations! Considering we are relaunching and we have an existing fan base, I have to admit to having expectations of being fully funded quite quickly and then this would spring board us onto stretch goals which would approximate the full amount of the funding we asked for last time. Wow, that was a long sentence. Anyway, I had expectations and maybe I should call it assumptions, and we all know what happens to assumptions. Yup. Human Beings, is what happens. After a fabulous initial flurry it has slowed down to a dwindle. Where are my 347 backers from last time? Certainly not the 81 we currently have. The weather was fabulous for the two days of the weekend, immediately after launch day - who knew that this would cause an entire nation to leave their digital devices at home and go and spend time in the sun. Was not expecting that.
So I have spent the last 3 days dealing with my emotions of things not working out quite as I had wanted. I knew after last time that this whole journey was an emotional rollercoaster but did not expect it to hit me full force as it did this morning. I literally had to take the dog and escape for most of the morning. It was crushing, the weight of disappointment had worn me down. Then I realised that I had placed way too much importance on the success of my future life being dictated by the success of this campaign. How was that poor campaign ever going to reach that lofty goal. So a good cry later (and I am soooo tired as a result of this), I feel a little more calm and certainly on a level of equilibrium. This campaign now has a life of it's own. I will do my best for it to be successful, but I cannot control the whims of humans. Humans who are happy to send you wonderful supportive emails but will not pledge, or the hundreds of people who like your facebook page but will not pledge. My sense of urgency does not invoke any sense of haste or interest on the part of anyone else. Big old lesson. Also, another trick for young players, previous backers who are convinced that they have already handed over the money last time, so not going to do it again.
And to top things off, Kickstarter has been misbehaving - not sending out backer notifications for the last 24 hours. We also changed our profile picture as the previous one was being totally rejected by Facebook and of course the links are still referring the old picture, and for the life of me, cannot figure out how to change it!
No one else places as much importance on this campaign as I do. I want it to be successful and after having to deal with the fallout of an unsuccessful campaign last time, I have invested a huge amount of emotional energy into it this time. Fingers crossed that I survive the experience intact.